hemispheres

hemisphere theory taken from ziz char/astria.

i love misattributions aren’t they fun

sleep

accidentally discovered unihemispheric sleep while attempting to wake-induce a lucid dream.

have only managed to make this work once so far, need to look into how GG was doing it

separation

pretty sure hemispheres cry independently- chirality isn’t reversed for this though- rh was crying from our right eye. revealed as a consequence of accidentally discovering unihemispheric sleep, though we’re pretty sure this applies to daily life too

rh does not remember the dream it was crying about. will attempt to discover when we both end up lucid.

presumably evidence of a block we’ve built that we would like to bring down.

lucid dreaming

state of mind

both times we’ve purposefully accessed a WILD so far have been from a state of purposeful accord among the three of us, with <for-what?> clearly in mind.

update: have accessed many more than two times at this point, this kind of intense purposefulness helps but has not proven to be strictly necessary

seems wildly easier to access them from an alert-calm state, too. second success we’ve had since the first-try was after spending the evening (about two hours) doing other mental-config type play.

breathing

as an obstacle, i think right now breathing regulation is the one we need to focus on. not in a ‘i must remain conscious and in control of my breath’ way, but in a ’this has to be normal so i don’t get exited and break the state’ way. which i think might just come from getting the state multiple times on command.

stabilization

still working on this. current techniques i’m trying are grounding through senses, narrative tricks (‘ACME lucidity pills’), and normalizing the state itself.

soul anatomy

birdwatching

ghouls

i think i instinctively feel more afraid of ghouls than i do of eg. vampires. not like… abstractly, i think vampires as a class are much more deadly than ghouls, but to a younger version of myself the idea of ghouls was frightening. agentic malice was easier to conceptualize as ultimately derivative of mustache-twirling villains, but stupidity with the same structure was just painful to imagine. (i’m sure that has nothing to do whatsoever with my parent’s undead types. /s.)

liches

“surely if they run on hope they have to being doing something good, right? right??”

actually no. sorry. you can put hope in an empire. or a god.

my attempt to build a halo when i was 12-ish collapsed because it’s just… genuinely not necessary for my existence.

• eric winestine? seems unresolved right up until the point the empire is dead. “oh no, the state is like. for important stuff, you can’t question the powers that be too deeply else risk collapse!”

edit: no, nvm. he’s definitely a vamp. ugh. could have just gone with initial impression on that one.

i think he vexes like. eg noam chomsky, maybe. seems like he ‘wants’ really bad to explain state-level power dynamics and other fuckoff huge forces that control people’s lives, but then subs in evil as a reason for doing that.

(not that chomsky was good, i have no idea what he did other than write some more-informed-about-state-reality books. maybe his praxis was really good and he was just good at deception. or maybe he didn’t do a damn thing.) update: neither of these was true, he was arrested multiple times for his activism. seems not to understand consequentialism, though. “no one can lead a totally moral life, everyone is doing things they know to be evil in order to survive, therefor vegans are hypocrites.” sus for a guy who knows how praxis works. hypothesis is single good. plus he’s dead anyway.